Changing how your baby falls asleep

Most parents get to a point where they want to change how their baby falls asleep.

This may be because the current method is no longer working for you, or your baby is fed to sleep for all sleep, and you would like your partner to settle at bedtime too.

Whatever the motive behind making a change, this blog will offer some tips for making gentle changes.

What is your goal?

If you are not clear on your goal, and your motives behind this change, the likelihood is you won’t be successful. Why? Because change is hard, and it is harder when you are a sleep deprived parent, and emotions are involved.

Being really clear on your goals and your ‘why’ will really help you have success.

Will my baby cry?

When we decide to change how we are settling our baby, this is because it is no longer working us. For example your baby feeds to sleep, and wakes to feed every 1-2 hours at night. Or your baby sleeps in contact for all naps, and co-sleeps at night. Or you are doing all the settles, and are ready to share the load with your partner.

Your baby naturally will not want this to change, so it is common for their to be some upset.

Is this a reason not to make a change?

With the overload of information online about crying, parents have become very fearful of tears. But in any other situation would we try and stop our baby expressing frustration? No! As expressing frustration is normal infant behaviour. But surrounding sleep, it has become something parents are made to feel bad for.

It should not be this way, of course it is hard to make a change, hard to know our baby may find change hard. But sleep needs to be sustainable for the entire family. If you want to make a change, the first step is to be at peace that this may be a tricky stage.

Is this the right time?

You want to be able to offer consistency here, so choose a time when you will be at home, no plans to travel.

Avoid big changes during a big developmental leap, or when your baby is poorly or teething.

If your partner is going to be involved, discuss work schedules so you both have the time and patience to commit.

Where to start?

Once you have your a clear goal in mind, and you have decided the right time you wish to start.

The next step is look at your baby’s routine, we want to ensure the daytime routine and bedtime routine are working well before making changes to sleep associations.

If for example your baby’s routine varies every day; inconsistent nap times, nap lengths, inconsistent bedtime routine, this will make change trickier.

Have a consistent wake up time, nap schedule, and ensure the bedtime routine is consistent. Having a bedtime routine, with the same activities in the same order.

Methods for change

There are many ways to begin helping your baby to settle in a different way. Here are 2 of my favourite ways to do so gently and respectfully.

Habit Stacking

This is a great way of helping your baby to gradually move from feeding to rocking, or rocking to holding.

When feeding your baby to sleep, begin adding in other sleep associations. Begin swaying, or bouncing on a ball, or patting your baby’s bum.

Get them used to being fed and rocked or bounced, so them become familiar with this sleep association.

You can then begin to work on moving the preferred association, gradually.

Pause Method

This is a great method to use with habit stacking.

Once your baby is accepting a different sleep association, for example you want to move from rocking to holding them to sleep. Begin to pause.

Begin to pause more frequently, and begin slowing the amount of rocking down gradually over a few days to a week.

This method can be done so slowly, your baby can accept this new method easily.

For more step by step guidance on moving from feeding to sleep to holding, or helping your little one fall asleep independently check out my baby sleep guide